Someday I am going to have two dogs, one named Nargini (after Voldemorts snake in Harry Potter) and the other named Bruce (after Bruce Wayne aka batman). People seem to like Bruce but not so much Nargini. Sure the snake is pure evil, but it is also powerful, devoted and brave. Bruce- well batman is the man, hes brave, creative, wealthy,smooth and totally studly. Makes sense to me. That was just a thought.
Well my days at KSL are coming to an end. My Kindergarten Countdown segment aired on Wednesday and I must say it was cute! Not life altering in anyway but still a nice rookie piece. My mom and teacher we charismatic and fun and I cannot thank them enough for their help and insight. I am a little sad to leave Studio 5 now that I am getting the hang of things and starting to find my place. The other side of me is still unsure if broadcast journalism is the job I'd go to work for free for.
I am still waiting for my soul to recognize the work that I am meant to do. Reslife has been the collegiate equivalent of that for me. I would go to work for free any day if it meant working with RHA,IACURH or RA stuff. Fall training begins this saturday and my chest literally aches at the thought that I will not be there. Don't get me wrong, training is boring as sin most days, but I'd sit through it for 50 years if it meant being with my friends, the pro-staff who I have come to see as family- Rich and Megs, Brit. I will most likely take a day or two and hit Logan just to fill, even for a day, the void I have had since choosing this next path.
I was hesitant to join housing in the first place. In fact, I was terrified and now I just cant see me, without it. I hope this next adventure does the same- begins as a scary mystery, slowly morphing into pure passion and love. What is the God if not passionate and loving?
I miss Utah State. What a blessing my education has been. You will find no one with more pride than me for their school. I see old main and my heart swells, I hear the too familiar Scotsman and my arms raise to the sky, I see the A license plate and recognize a symbol of my home. This was where I was meant to go, I knew that the moment I stepped on the beautiful grounds. I cannot wait to go home again.
I am struggling with my decision to go on a mission right now. I know its the right thing to do. I feel a burning in my chest when I think about it. But it will not be easy to leave my life behind. This is one of those moments where I go forward with faith, to serve with diligence and hopefully return to something better than I left. Missionaries are promised blessings for faithful service and I will do my best to deserve those blessings.
There I times I wonder if I am strong enough to do this and I probably am not alone. But lucky for me God has a bigger plan than I could ever think of. I am relying on him to lead me forward. Once I actually have my call I hope to feel a greater sense of purpose instead of watching everyone else go back to school and move forward with life. Its supposed to be hard I guess, I just hope the passion I felt when I first made the choice, will continue to sustain me. My resources are running low but when you know, you just do and that is my plan. I know I have so much to gain, but what I am losing is very close to me too. Which will be better?? Time will tell.
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