Monday, January 16, 2012

Challenge: A post a day

A friend of mine had a 30 day challenge with prompts to post each day. I realize that the month is half over...but I want to write, therefore I do. So, consider this post one for the next little while. I wont promise to post daily, but I will get through the 30 prompts....just watch.


Post #1: Things that make you scared

Everything.

Seriously. I have an abnormal amount of fear. If you know me, you know that this statement is sad but true. For example, on the Lady Bug Drop at Lagoon... its like a ten foot ride that drops you. It is intended for small children... I gripped the security belt like death and screamed the whole way down. Meanwhile, my niece who was 3 turned to me and said, "Hayley, it isnt scary, put your hands up, like me!" She then proceeded to chatter away and giggle with her arms in the air. Eventually she saw that I had not released my death grip and said, "Ok I will just hold your hand."

There is something very wrong with that picture. I am the adult, I comfort her. So besides my pathetic fear of rides or anything that moves for that matter, I will expound on one or 2 more.

Serious relationships with the potential to end in marriage.

Stress me out. It is not so much the relationship I fear, nor someone loving me for a very long time. I fear me and MY ability to truly say I am in this, for good, for bad, for ....Eternity. I wonder if it is possible to truly grow and change and do so together. I fear losing connection, intellectual stimulation... I fear. Yet, I love to be in said relationships. I take them seriously and have had nothing but consistently wonderful, long-term relationships since I was old enough to date. Yet I am not brave. Puzzle.

Big Dogs

I am not a very big girl, therefore large animals that easily weigh double my weight and are a foot taller than me on their hind legs... Ahhhhh! Once I get to know the dog then I am fine, but that first time....so freakin scared. Ironically my favorite dog is a Chocolate Lab....can anyone say... good luck? I know. I am in for a treat. This fear is logical... as well as familial....I grew up with 3 corss-eyed cats that feared humans, therefore my contact with animals was pretty much non-existant.

At the end of the day, I am not usually someone people call brave. But I like to think I am brave in my own way. I do not take counsel from my fears.

Some people fear love. I have loved, been loved and will continue to do so, knowing very well that I might end up the bad guy, or the one crying in the bathroom because he chose her, not me. I don't regret that.

Some people fear public speaking. I love my own voice. I think my opinions are valid, educated, witty, insightful, inspiring, carefree, intentional. Worthwhile. I hope to always have a voice to speak, the passion and tools to empower others to do so as well, and an open ear to hear those wanting to do the same.

Some people fear inadequacy. To them I steal the words of someone who said it better:


"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

1 comment:

Dan said...

Big dogs also terrify me!