Thursday, September 11, 2008

Trying to find somthing

Every year I get a little bit older I find that I am more confused about who I am and what I want to be. Isnt that a little backward? Suddenly I find that I am grown up and must stop saying "when I grow up I am going to..." because I am there. That time is now and I am still lost. If children become grown-ups, what can grown-ups become??


Since I currently have no idea what I am doing with life I think I will make a list of things I am borderline obsessed with and see if I can mesh them together to make a career or some sense of direction for myself.

My Future In a Nutshell

1. I abseloutely love Harry Potter. That book series is the most ingenious thing I have ever beheld. How can one writer possibly come up with so many characters, details and bits of history, mythology, etc. and make it flow through seven books? I'm really Rowling is half writer, half genius. I could talk the details all day but I wont.

2. Anything Ryan Shupe. Music, his mandolin and fiddle, the concert at Thanksgiving Point, creating my own line of Shupe merchandise that he doesnt but should sell ( ask about my 1,000 Times Tee and other ideas) and improving my already impressive attendence record- 37th show this saturday.

3. Multi-Cultural authors or books especially the Middle East such as my all time favorite- "The Kite Runner." Fiction or non-fiction the culture and history of Pakistan, Afganistan, India etc, is so rich, so unique I can't help but be fascinated by it.

4. Baking different kinds of chocolate cake. In the past few months I have made 4 kinds of chocolate cake. What a fascinating medium to explore, cake and I love chocolate.

5. CSI Las Vegas. Oh Griss how I love thee. Gil Grissom is my all-time favorite television character. He's brilliant, witty and unique. He is admired by his friends and his enemies. He proves himself and all the other CSI's even when he cant hear a word they are saying. And lets be honest, the unspoken but oh so obvious Sara/ Grissom love is enticing.

6. MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC
Lately I love- Lady Antebellum, TJ McCloud, Metro Station, Josh Gracin, Joshua Radin, The Color Fred, Kalai, Jack Hody Johnson, Hellogoodbye and Sam Payne. Check them ALL out. A musical cornicopia is a must have for all humanity. The art of music has failed if one can simply categorize themselves as a fan of country or hip hop. All music should be appreciated for what is brings to the listener, how it adds to their identity and helps them to become or understand who they are. There is no genre capable of doing all that.

7. The Book of Mormon. What a cool gift that book is. I could read it 300 times and still find application for my life. There is such a power when you read it, it just lifts the soul and inspires curiosity. The BOM is depth and simplicity in harmony. Read it and think about it often and you will see what I mean. If your whole life is not better for having read it you can kick me in the head for every word in that sacred book. There are so many promises and tools within the pages, Id even venture to say that it surpasses Harry Potter and the Kite Runner in awesomeness and ingeniousness. (That cant be a real word!)

8. Snowcones. I have talked of snowcones before so I will be brief. Delicious ice flakes, drenched in tropical sugar water.... eat one and it will make you happy, in fact it will make you so happy you wont even care that you spilled half of it down your shirt as it melts.

9. My family. Sitting in a circle talking favorite memories about my dad for fathers day. A lesson on the blessings of the temple. Hadley being in love with Parker. Kohner as a 2 year old saying everything with a German accent, Ikey thinking school is "Damn Good!" Seeing Jake holding his son barely seconds old. My mother being the best thing I will ever have. Being terrified as my father seems to age before my eyes, forgetting things, not hearing things. Hoping beyond hope that my brother will remember who he is and come back. Laughing so hard I cant breathe because I have the funniest family in the whole world. So thankful we are eternal and I get to come home to them again.

10. Late night conversations with JP. How we can seamlessly move between the hillarious and the sacred, our greatest fears and proudest accomplishments. Laughing at everything because we can. Admiring her for being so much stronger and braver than anyone I have ever met. Lucky to have her as my best friend. My HSLM. Seeing everything I ever wish to be and knowing I can because she believes in me. Hoping I help her to be a better person. Wishing I could repay her. Knowing I never can.

11. String Cheese. Nothing even needs to be said.

12. Watching really lame movies in the middle of the day alone in my parents basement with all the lights on. This is my favorite down-time ritual. I love a snack, a drink and a really terrible looking film picked up from the library. I dont know why I do it, but its kind of my thing. I dont get it.

13. Recalling memories. I love my memories. I love journals, scrapbooks, facebook albums, old text messages and emails. Anything that takes me back to a different time, many great memories, some terrible, many pointless, few life-changing. I could think about lifes adventures or talk about them with a friend for hours on end and never grow faint. I love a good battle of "Remember when...."

14. Anything having to do with Utah State University or Cache Valley. I love it all. My blood runs aggie blue and that will never change. How lucky I am to have gone to school there. That is where my heart is. It is who I am. I want to see USU do well, to thrive, to open doors and inspire possibilty in others as it has done for me. I want people to go there and find themselves, to be changes for the better, to make it their own. To be as happy as I have been.

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