Thursday, October 6, 2011

Revival of the Old Blog-a-Roo

GUTEN TAG!!

I just wanna take this chance to thank my trove of faithful readers who have stuck with me through this anti-blog hiatus----- That's a shout out to my 2 faithful followers, (you know who you are... # Paisersmama/Broboy).

For a few years (almost 3 to be exact) I've either been off talking about Jesus with strangers, being corrupted by the liberal ways of higher education (#my dad), or stalking mostly unfamous, totally married, yet deliciously talented musicians.

Whenever one takes a sabbatical, it is usually in the name of self-discovery and personal growth, I however, return to these pages having gained only one piece of wisdom.... blogs are not just for fairytale married Mormon "hubbies and wifeys" to update their fams on their super cute adventures in the exotic land of dental school. BLOGS ARE FOR EVERYONE. So ha.

In short. If I feel that my egocentric cup is a little low...I'll come here. I'll tell you.

Or as a wise old German woman once told me,
"Mach den Topf leer!"

Aka- eat everything in this pot or I will be totally offended.

I figure life is like a pot of soup meant to be eaten until you vomit, if only to make a little old woman smile. This is me, making soup. EAT UP.



Today I spent a majority of the rainy afternoon reading things that make me laugh and I thought to myself, man I miss making people laugh, which in reality is just me, making me laugh. I figure if it’s not funny to anyone else…at least I got the joke. And other people are just stupid.

I find that most humor comes from everyday life. In fact, I am so convinced of this, that most of mission journal consists of character sketches of people I found irresistibly hilarious, people I could not have made up myself if you had paid me. True characters. I may have missed the purpose of missionary journals, but you know, I have a freakin treasure trove of hilarious characters should I ever actually sit down and write that book I’ve been meaning to write since I was 12….

I think if people saw the humor in the every day, there would be more peace in the world. No matter how awkward the situation or how often I think “ man, sucks to be that guy”, some how feel as if I am watching a little bit of myself in that moment. I am startled/ discomforted by this recognition…. And yet, in these moments of mild humiliation it’s kind of like seeing an old friend. Hey I know you, glad you could make it…now please leave.

My desire to write is completely inconsistent. When I feel a need to do so, I need to do it right then or the genius is gone. Writing is very real to me, it is very alive… stories have an agenda of their own, and we the writers are simply the conduit through which theses stories find their voice. Sometimes I feel like a very lucky mommy, that a story has chosen the womb of my psyche as its place of nourishment and livelihood. This is striking me as very Freudian which is never good so I will stop with that.

I have no really story to tell today it seems, and that’s ok. I’m starting a project… its most-likely temporary name- will be something like…”Stuff I feel like writing about, that you may or may not feel like reading, nevertheless furthering my own agenda and divine egocentrism”. CATCHY.

Today’s Agenda:

It’s a soggy Utah fall day. Some people wake up angry, so people wake up surprised. I wake up STOKED. Do you have any idea what this means? If you were thinking rubber boots, scarves and layers, you would correct.

2 Rules about living in Utah

1. NEVER EVER pack you warm clothes away. I don’t care if it is June 5… it will probably snow. Don’t think you know better than the wheatear and heaven forbid don’t think Kevin Eubank has any idea what is going on either. He doesn’t. He is hypothesizing. Nothing more.

2. LAYER LAYER LAYER. Last year I made what might be the best purchase I have ever made. I went to candy store on crack (no, not the Gap or the Vans store), the other candy store known as REI. It’s not like I actually bike or canoe or anything, but it’s the IDEA that if I wanted to, I COULD at any moment start and REI would lead the way.

Anyways, I bought long johns, leggings, spandex, whatever you want to call them and they were TEAL. Good one on you REI. Good one on you. I wish I could wear them on the outside of my pants they are so cool. Staying warm never looked so rad.

You can always tell who is experiencing their first Utah season change, I find myself wanting to say to them “You’re right, it is totally cool that Tom’s are biodegradable and in about 40 seconds when that cloud dumps 6 inches, their going to melt right off your frozen feet. I bet that does suck when your “I heart Pink” umbrella snaps blows away…I guess that’s what happens when something is made of underwire and lace.

For real kids. This is Utah. Its called layers. Better luck next year. And for the record I LOVE rain boots. LOVE LOVE LOVE them. Jeggings and rain boots are my new PB & J. And although he may or may not have had anything to do with Jeggins and rain boots, im giving the cred for today’s Word Vomit to Steve Jobs. I probably wouldn’t even know what Jeggins were without Apple products…. Or Amazon.

But that’s another day, another case of Word Vomit.

4 comments:

chelsey kimberly said...

YES I looove you blog hays! Thank you for starting up again and making me laugh... even though its 7am and I should be working. Love your writing. I think you've inspired me to write more too :) Like back when we were 5 and obsessed with that Storybook Reader computer game... oh I miss those days & you making me laugh just by you laughing. I miss you.
I love how I keep hearing "I can't believe it snowed"... its Utah people!! I def don't miss that random weather but I do love fall attire. Once you have jeggings you never go back :)

hayley said...

You know, I still daydream about storybook weaver... just the other day I was brainstorming how to get a copy... such fun times set to Aaron's Party....perfect muse music. Lol.

Misty said...

Oh you just brighten my 11:29 pm! I need to read you more often! (hint, hint!)

Four Seasons Finds said...

HA HA HA the parts about the Tom's and I heart Pink umbrella were priceless. I also am shocked that people are surprised when it snows in Utah. They also forget how to drive. It's like, "Haven't you lived here your whole life? Do you really not remember how to drive in the snow since last season?"