Drewdles Returns and other things I was not prepared for...

Drew and I 2006

I can't believe that my final friend is home from the mish! Andrew got back yesterday from 2 years in Cuernavaca, Mexico. He called me right after he got released, funny kid. I thought he had been home a few days but he was just taking off his tag as we spoke!

Needless to say I am SO SO SO excited for him to be home. Drewdles has been one of my best friends since I was 16 and he is probably the most selfless person I have ever met. The first time I met Drew it was like seeing an old friend after years apart, like we already knew each other's lives and needed no introduction. He gave me everything, his friendship, his black-faced relic watch, his heart. All of which I took for granted. All of which I will spend the rest of my life trying to re-earn.

He forgave me.
It is I who still cannot forgive myself.

I went to him homecoming today and saw a man on that stand. I saw a man who finally knew that he is a son of God, that the Gospel has the power to change, to heal, to make whole. I saw a man, confident and unafraid Where a self-conscious boy once was. My heart seemed to explode with a love that has been neglected for so long. What a beautiful creation that man is. If only I had seen that when I was 16.

My heart aches, but more than that ache I am filled with awe, that a loving Heavenly Father would bless me with friends who would see passed my all-too- common selfishness. Bless me with friends who would still care for me even when I have failed each and every one of them.

I am undeserving

I am so proud of you Drew, so proud. You are a far better man than anyone has ever given you credit for. You are my example, my friend.

It seems I am never ready for the great epiphany's of my life. I did not expect Andrew to walk into Jenna's living room one night, I did not plan to go to Utah State, or serve a mission. I was not ready for any of it, so what if I had been ready? Where would my path have gone or be now? Would so many casualties lay in my wake, so many broken hearts to pay the cost of my life lessons? Would the ache in my chest and the fear of the future cease to exist? How I wish...

My good friend Benjamin once said that mistakes can be beautiful. I hope that this is true because I rarely get things right the first time. I hope that the actions of my future will heal the wounds of my past for those involved. For me.