I had to work it out, I had to throw away my doubts, I'll be everything you need and every part of me is yours. Your love has set me free, this hearts free to be, everything you need. Everything I'll be. Your patient love, you gave you stuck, and now I'm ready.
Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans. One of my favorite statements and one of the most true. What is with people and making plans anyways? Life is unpredictable, people have agency, they will let you down or surprise you when you didnt think they would come through. Life is choices, thats it. Sometimes my choices break hearts while others set me free.
I expect that life will continue to place fork after ever lovin fork in the road and I will have to choose which way to go. I imagine that Frost and I discussed this poem at some point in my former life.. .
. The Road Not Taken
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
So much of my life is changing in the next year and so much of me wants to come back to everything just as it is now, and yet more of me knows that life is change. Nothing will be the same as it is right now in this very moment. Hayley, you fear commitment he says, you will never settle. Maybe he is right. Maybe I fear less than perfect. Maybe I fear less than everything I have ever dreamed of. Dreams are never crimes.
I imagine that I have been in that very yellow wood that Frost knows so well. I've been there and I don't plan to ever leave. So far this path has been my friend. I've had moments where the sun drips like honey all around me, and other days where the path has been totally washed away and I had to guess which way to go. Other days, woods have been alive with familiar faces to keep me company, to ease the silence that weighs down on me, or to just listen as we walk down the path.
I'll come to a place in the road where it forks off in a dozen directions as far as the eye can see. A sign post at the edge of my trail catches my eye. A dozen arrows point every way, the destinations all the same : WHEREVER YOU WANT. As I contemplate the curious sign, I realize I am not alone in this clearing.
A man sits just at the base of the sign pole, head down peering between his knees.
"Excuse me," I say approaching the man timidly. He looks up startled to hear another voice, almost imediately his shock melts into a smile. He says nothing just laughs quietly to himself shaking his head. He stands and and wipes the dirt from his pants.
I want to ask why he is laughing but I know I don't need to.
"Took you long enough," He says cupping my face in his hands, "bout put my bum to sleep."
I open my mouth to protest and he cuts me off pointing a finger directly into my face, "But I knew that, didn't I."
" Have you been alone this whole time?" I ask peering into his still smiling face.
"Heaven's no little girl. It's been packed up until the last...... while."
"And you have just been sitting here since they all left?"
"Sitting? Never sitting. I was working, getting ready for you."
"What have you been working on?" I ask peering around the clearing expecting some project to appear out of the foliage along the trails.
" Same thing as everyone, I suppose."
"Which is....?" I prod when he fails to continue.
"Unimportant." He sees the look of confusion wrinkle my face.
"Everyone else had their someone. A million times they said, she's not coming, skip out with us." He laughs sitting back down on the ground and patting a spot beside him. I move and sit down, our legs resting side by side.
"But I knew better. I said, you don't know her like I do. She'll be here when she is ready."
"It was a very LONG walk." I smile pointing and flexing my toes feeling my muscles stretch.
He sits smiling at me for what seems like an hour.
"How did you know it was me you were waiting for?" I ask quietly.
"So where to now?" I ask peering around at the dozens various trail heads.
"I have my someone, so wherever we want."
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