I turned in my paper 9 days ago.....9.... and I still have yet to meet with the Stake president.... I am GOING INSANE! I just want to get out there! So much to do and so little time. I cant shake this sense of urgency that I have, its like if i dont go fast I will never go. Where is the faith in that? I know, I know, all in God's time but its proving hard to get on the same page.....
Another sign of God's sense for humor: today Parker tells me he is probably going to Utah State now. What?! I freak, you cant go to Utah State without me. Thats my school, my home and you choose to go NOW? Now that I am leaving! Talk about torture. So now the 2 people I love most will be in Cache Valley while I am off being amazingly spiritual. Not a bad trade I know, but still hard to chew.
This phase of life is proving just as interesting as my last chapter but I think I might fare better this time because I have some faith on my side. Man I love my religion. I love to talk about my religion. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints- is that beautiful or what? Even if you dont buy into my beliefs you have to admit its nice to think about-
- I believe I get to be with my family and friends FOREVER. Its not goodbye, just see you soon.
- I believe I have guidance from a prophet just for this day and age- someone who knows God even better than me
- I never have to feel alone because I believe I can talk to God whenever I want and he listens to me
- I feel happy and hopeful because of my beliefs
- I believe God has a plan for me. One I understand when I am listening for it.
-I believe when I die, I get to be with the ones I love and especially with God somewhere amazingly lovely!
- I believe bad things happen to good people. Those trials help us grow. There is purpose in everything.
- I am most happy when I remember and stand up for these beliefs
I want to serve for many reasons, here is just one: The Gospel makes me happy. I want others to be happy.
I am just one voice, but one voice can carry far.
He was just one voice, but one voice that changed the earth.
One but not alone, a thousand voices sing,
praises to on high, of our Master and our King.
With one voice.
One Voice.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
On my mind....
I havent blogged for some time. I dont really have time as I am on break at work so I will talk fast.... I just miss hearing myself write....
Anywho, a few additions to the Summer Playlist 08:
1. I kissed a girl- the first time i heard this song I thought- this is the epitome of society at its downfall- alas I like the song although it is society failing.
2. Thanks for the Lemonade- who sings this song? No idea but love it!
3. Anything by the Director particularly "Alive."
4. Ryan Shupe's 1000 times- its an oldie but man... he's good
5. Paul Cardall's randition of I love to see the temple from his Primary Worship album
Next:
I am having a particularly awesome week. I worked alot, things are falling into place for my 2 segments for Studio 5. One airs on August 4, the other on August 28. I will let you know more later.
I went out with my home teacher this week. The fulfillment of an age old stereotype made this adventure all worth it. I loved it for that reason alone. It doesnt hurt that he is tall blue-eyed and entirely eccentric either.
Pretty fun week with the Blaker coming to town. It was awesome to have another Ben Blaker guitar session last night. What a talented kid. I missed POL more than ever as Ben played some of my favorite musical gems.
I realized just how amazing my friends really are. How lucky I am to have them and how bad I am going to miss them. We all leave for seperate parts of the world this summer and who knows when I will see them again, if ever. We are growing up. We may outgrow eachother but we also may learn to stretch and grow together. I will hold on to this hope for the time being and hope reality agrees.
Time is up at work. I get to see Ju this weekend for the first time in maybe 3 months and I cant wait!! Until later.
Anywho, a few additions to the Summer Playlist 08:
1. I kissed a girl- the first time i heard this song I thought- this is the epitome of society at its downfall- alas I like the song although it is society failing.
2. Thanks for the Lemonade- who sings this song? No idea but love it!
3. Anything by the Director particularly "Alive."
4. Ryan Shupe's 1000 times- its an oldie but man... he's good
5. Paul Cardall's randition of I love to see the temple from his Primary Worship album
Next:
I am having a particularly awesome week. I worked alot, things are falling into place for my 2 segments for Studio 5. One airs on August 4, the other on August 28. I will let you know more later.
I went out with my home teacher this week. The fulfillment of an age old stereotype made this adventure all worth it. I loved it for that reason alone. It doesnt hurt that he is tall blue-eyed and entirely eccentric either.
Pretty fun week with the Blaker coming to town. It was awesome to have another Ben Blaker guitar session last night. What a talented kid. I missed POL more than ever as Ben played some of my favorite musical gems.
I realized just how amazing my friends really are. How lucky I am to have them and how bad I am going to miss them. We all leave for seperate parts of the world this summer and who knows when I will see them again, if ever. We are growing up. We may outgrow eachother but we also may learn to stretch and grow together. I will hold on to this hope for the time being and hope reality agrees.
Time is up at work. I get to see Ju this weekend for the first time in maybe 3 months and I cant wait!! Until later.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
The Posse of Love
SO I just ended an amazing and exhausting week. My favorite boys in all the world all came to Utah in the same week. I knew Benjamin was coming but Josh and Ry had me convinced (and sad) that they would not be able to make it. Lo and behold tuesday evening Josh and Ry waltz into the shop and my heart stops--- literally I thought I almost died. I almost burst into sobs I was so happy and so mad at the same time. Nevertheless, they came, all of them for one magical week.
I dubbed this group of boys the Posse of Love because well.... I love them. We love eachother as only the best of friends can. Joshua G-Side, Ryan Christopher Cowles, Face- Jon Dalton and Benjamin Blaker are the best guys ever. Its pretty rare to be the only girl in a group of boys but I love it and I would never want it any other way.
What I love about the Posse of love:
1.
I am pretty much the only girl.... im spoiled
2.
These men practice chivalry on crack- they are almost too kind, too certain of their roles as men. They fight over the check, ben carries my purse. Its lovely.
3.
We are PDA champions. Its impossible to fight with eachother when we just hug it out. You need a hand to hold? They got ya. Someone to cuddle with? They will be there. I love their hugs. All of them.
4.
We can all be ourselves. We met in circumstances that have let us be 100% us from day one. That will never change. Ryan can yell in public places, Joshy can make all girls swoon, Benjamin can attempt to get the ladies with his "Im the Director" line, face can talk to total stranger for hours making us wait for him almost all the time.... who cares.... we still love eachother.
5.
They make me laugh. I cant go 20 minuets without laughing so hard im about to pee... sick but true. They are funny boys. Perverted at times, plain awkward at others. A hoot.
6.
They will be my friends forever. I know things will change when I or we all get married and go off into the world, this is particularly true for me as the only girl, but who cares. Today and now I have 4 of the best guy friends in the whole world. They know what true friendship is. They prove it to me everyday.
Face and G-side leave the country this month, Ben is back in Idaho and Ry and stranded in Colo....our lives are seperate and changing but will remain the same for one reason alone- we need eachother.
I love you guys. Thanks for making my life. No really.
![]()
I dubbed this group of boys the Posse of Love because well.... I love them. We love eachother as only the best of friends can. Joshua G-Side, Ryan Christopher Cowles, Face- Jon Dalton and Benjamin Blaker are the best guys ever. Its pretty rare to be the only girl in a group of boys but I love it and I would never want it any other way.
What I love about the Posse of love:
1.
I am pretty much the only girl.... im spoiled
2.
These men practice chivalry on crack- they are almost too kind, too certain of their roles as men. They fight over the check, ben carries my purse. Its lovely.
3.
We are PDA champions. Its impossible to fight with eachother when we just hug it out. You need a hand to hold? They got ya. Someone to cuddle with? They will be there. I love their hugs. All of them.
4.
We can all be ourselves. We met in circumstances that have let us be 100% us from day one. That will never change. Ryan can yell in public places, Joshy can make all girls swoon, Benjamin can attempt to get the ladies with his "Im the Director" line, face can talk to total stranger for hours making us wait for him almost all the time.... who cares.... we still love eachother.
5.
They make me laugh. I cant go 20 minuets without laughing so hard im about to pee... sick but true. They are funny boys. Perverted at times, plain awkward at others. A hoot.
6.
They will be my friends forever. I know things will change when I or we all get married and go off into the world, this is particularly true for me as the only girl, but who cares. Today and now I have 4 of the best guy friends in the whole world. They know what true friendship is. They prove it to me everyday.
Face and G-side leave the country this month, Ben is back in Idaho and Ry and stranded in Colo....our lives are seperate and changing but will remain the same for one reason alone- we need eachother.
I love you guys. Thanks for making my life. No really.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Why I write
So we have a girl coming on Studio 5 next week named Lindsey. I found her blog and on it she talks about why she wanted to be a writer. I thought, man this blog sounds alot like my life. I get up and go to work at 2 jobs that I enjoy at times, but nothing has inspired me more than writing. At this important phase in my life I am struggling to find work that I have a true passion for; work that I would go to work for free for. Though I will never give up writing, I wish I could just get paid to blog in the real world.
Every passion has a spark that starts it, for me, writing began as soon as I was able to write. I remember sitting at Salt Lake Institute, always the last child at the table slowly writing my daily plans into a black and white steno notebook. I was the slowest, I could not spell and many of my letters were backwards. It was frustrating, but I wrote.
In my free time I would write my own stories alone and with my friends. In 2nd grade my friend Kate and I wrote a story about a boy who lived on Free Willey's the killer wales back in a bubble. It was a terribly creative plot for 2 small girls but it was our world and we loved it. Things came to life in stories, things I could not create otherwise.
I owe my writers fire to two teachers I had in my life: Ms. Kenner my 5th grade teacher. She had a write stories often. I liked using the National Geographic magazine pictures and making up the stories behind the images. I wrote one story "Gonna and the Salmon Ceremony" and it was the most ridiculous thing I have ever read, but I loved doing it. Kenner said I had a way with words, a real talent and to never stop writing. She gave me many opprotunities to write and helped improve my vocabulary to be a better writer.
The other teacher was Ms. Alsop my 7th grade english teacher. I wrote things in that class that she said were impressive and that I would one day be a famous writer. I believed her. I still believe her. She taught me about the short story, detail and character development. She moved my from regular english to honors. I felt I could do now what so many said I could not in the past.
I have dreamed of being a writer for over a dozen years now. Is that not amazing? If only to say you had a dream, an ambition, a purpose for so long?
What a beautiful thing, words. So much nothing that when put together just right becomes everything you could ever need or want. Words are it. They are all we have. They advance society, they slow it down, the move what could not otherwise be moved. They heal what is broken and they transcend time. Thats the key. Transcending everything. Writing has the ability to totally capture a person, a soul, a mind, a heart and yet be so outside of them, its not even them at all. Make sense? I doubt it.
It doesnt matter. These words are mine. They can mean somthing to you if you let them. If not, they are still mine. perfectly endlessly flawed.
Every passion has a spark that starts it, for me, writing began as soon as I was able to write. I remember sitting at Salt Lake Institute, always the last child at the table slowly writing my daily plans into a black and white steno notebook. I was the slowest, I could not spell and many of my letters were backwards. It was frustrating, but I wrote.
In my free time I would write my own stories alone and with my friends. In 2nd grade my friend Kate and I wrote a story about a boy who lived on Free Willey's the killer wales back in a bubble. It was a terribly creative plot for 2 small girls but it was our world and we loved it. Things came to life in stories, things I could not create otherwise.
I owe my writers fire to two teachers I had in my life: Ms. Kenner my 5th grade teacher. She had a write stories often. I liked using the National Geographic magazine pictures and making up the stories behind the images. I wrote one story "Gonna and the Salmon Ceremony" and it was the most ridiculous thing I have ever read, but I loved doing it. Kenner said I had a way with words, a real talent and to never stop writing. She gave me many opprotunities to write and helped improve my vocabulary to be a better writer.
The other teacher was Ms. Alsop my 7th grade english teacher. I wrote things in that class that she said were impressive and that I would one day be a famous writer. I believed her. I still believe her. She taught me about the short story, detail and character development. She moved my from regular english to honors. I felt I could do now what so many said I could not in the past.
I have dreamed of being a writer for over a dozen years now. Is that not amazing? If only to say you had a dream, an ambition, a purpose for so long?
What a beautiful thing, words. So much nothing that when put together just right becomes everything you could ever need or want. Words are it. They are all we have. They advance society, they slow it down, the move what could not otherwise be moved. They heal what is broken and they transcend time. Thats the key. Transcending everything. Writing has the ability to totally capture a person, a soul, a mind, a heart and yet be so outside of them, its not even them at all. Make sense? I doubt it.
It doesnt matter. These words are mine. They can mean somthing to you if you let them. If not, they are still mine. perfectly endlessly flawed.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Hayley's master mix summer 08
I am at work tonight having completed all of my tasks. Usually I blog with an idea in mind, tonight however, I am blank. Here's an idea, TOP SONGS I THINK ARE THE SHIZ SUMMER 08.
1. # 1 by Hello Goodbye.... I like where we are, when we drive in your car
2. The tension and the terror by the straylight run.... the possibilities
3. We werent Crazy by Josh Gracin
4. # 1,3,4 and 10 and RSRB's new album Last Man Standing
5. This Side by Nickel Creek
6. Around the Clock by the Rocket Summer
7. If you didnt love me by Phil Stacey
8. Love Dont Live Here anymore by Lady Antbellum
9. With you By Chris Brown
10 No Air by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown
11. Apple bottom jeans
12. Jump On it.... bom bom bom bom bom.... Jump on it, jump on it!
This is pretty much my mix of the week. Things may change over the summer, but for now, this music is making me pretty dang happy. Most of these songs are not new, thats the amazing thing about music, it has application in your life at so many times. At least that is true for me. I'll add to the official HAYLEYS MASTER MIX as the summer progresses. Any suggestions, let me know!
1. # 1 by Hello Goodbye.... I like where we are, when we drive in your car
2. The tension and the terror by the straylight run.... the possibilities
3. We werent Crazy by Josh Gracin
4. # 1,3,4 and 10 and RSRB's new album Last Man Standing
5. This Side by Nickel Creek
6. Around the Clock by the Rocket Summer
7. If you didnt love me by Phil Stacey
8. Love Dont Live Here anymore by Lady Antbellum
9. With you By Chris Brown
10 No Air by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown
11. Apple bottom jeans
12. Jump On it.... bom bom bom bom bom.... Jump on it, jump on it!
This is pretty much my mix of the week. Things may change over the summer, but for now, this music is making me pretty dang happy. Most of these songs are not new, thats the amazing thing about music, it has application in your life at so many times. At least that is true for me. I'll add to the official HAYLEYS MASTER MIX as the summer progresses. Any suggestions, let me know!
Saturday, May 24, 2008
The NACURH expereince
SO I just got back from my national conference NACURH at OSU in Stillwater Oklahoma. It was my first time in Oklahoma and my last time perhaps at a NACURH Inc. conference. I feel it is a great time to reflect on the past 3 years I have been affiliated with this group.
What a joy it has been to work with, serve and befriend some of the greatest leaders this world will ever know. People do not understand what it is we do at a "housing conference." Yes the Res. Halls united us, but really, NACURH and IACURH are opprotunities to develop leaders like nothing else can.
These leaders are the underdogs it seems. The few who may not win a popularity contest, or a hot or not award, but they are the leaders who lead because they love to serve. Because they have caught the vision of something greater than themselves. I too share that vision.
I was fortunate as a freshmen, to have an advisor who has a vision beyond my own. She opened so many doors, and Tiffaroo, I thank you forever. My 2 years as NCC and one on the board have been my best memories of college and some of my most treasured of my life. I will never forget dressing up like a freak a few times a year, Hey IACURH, Hey What?!, collecting my beloved pins, making some of my best friends and ultimately watching people change. Watching someone catch the vision, to see more in themselves and the world around them.
I would not be the leader I am capable of without my time in the region. I would not relate to people, be as open, curious or compassionate. I would not be as daring or confident, I would not be as happy.
I owe great thanks to Tiff for always having vision for those she leads and pushing me outside my box. Thanks to USU for funding this dream of mine from every conference and for my beloved No Frills 07. The biggest thanks Dr. E Hash, Benjamin, Ry, Face, Diva Dollars and the whole E-board. To everyone who has sat in that boardroom the past 3 years, what a journey and a joy. Thank you.
Drive on IACURH, Drive on!
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Reflecting on age 20
So this blog started out as a blog for work but I've decided I am going to keep it up so the few people in the world who care what I am up to can read it. Blogs seem to be the trend for the newly married folks in the world, but why outcast the not- quite married kids as well?
Midnight tonight marks my 21 birthday. A friend of mine commented that birthdays are a great time to reflect on the past. This past year in particular has been one that I will never forget, though at times i will wish to.
This is the first birthday I recall actually feeling the influence of my age. 20 is still cute, with room for error based on naievity and pure stupidity. By 21 however, we are adults, we know what is right and wrong and we have no excuses. With this newfound mantle of adulthood, I am both excited and terrified.
The things I will never forget about age 20:
Kevin Thomas Dawson. That sums up my whole year alone. Every thought, wish, dream, plan, fear and pain I have felt this year revolves around that man. Right now I sturggle to see the beauty in all of this, my heart is broken. This would be perhaps the first time. Someday, when it doesnt hurt to breathe anymore I will remember only the good; the beautiful smile, the roses at random times, his innabilsity to keep a secret, his ambition for all things good, a kiss that takes my breath away, flying kites,feeling more love than I think I will ever have in my whole life. Being 100% myself with him. Breaking my own heart and letting him go. Watching him marry someone else. Attempting to feel happy for his joy, but feeling my heart break all over again. The bitter-sweet moments, when everything, my table, a smell, my very face remind me so much of him. Moving forward.
JP. She is my roomate and I love her so much. She's been the one constant friend in Logan. She is good for a laugh,pure stupidity or the deepest level of understanding and curiosity I can imagine. The poor girl has been stuck in the middle of what feels like a divorce and she has never once complained or picked sides. I wish I were more like her, and since we are clones, its pretty close.
Colorado. 2 of my greatest friends and best memories hail from that state. Ryan and Josh have meant the world to me this year. Not only are they amazing men, but they remind me of my strengths as they have been nearly impossible to find.
My religion. God and I have had our battles this year. I dont take no for answer very well. I am still learning humility and to trust in Him, but I know he is there for me no matter what is going on in my life. I have felt it and I know it. I wont forget that my prophet died this year too. I cried for a good 20 mins even though I know he deserves a break. I love that man. I will forever revere him and admire his legacy.
Really 20 for me has been one big learning experience. At times I have felt like Job, the trials have just come in ceaseless waves but so have the lessons and the blessings. I am better prepared for the future because of the past year of my life. I hope that 21 brings more opprotunity to grow, a chance to heal, the courage to move forward and the peace to forgive.
Midnight tonight marks my 21 birthday. A friend of mine commented that birthdays are a great time to reflect on the past. This past year in particular has been one that I will never forget, though at times i will wish to.
This is the first birthday I recall actually feeling the influence of my age. 20 is still cute, with room for error based on naievity and pure stupidity. By 21 however, we are adults, we know what is right and wrong and we have no excuses. With this newfound mantle of adulthood, I am both excited and terrified.
The things I will never forget about age 20:
Kevin Thomas Dawson. That sums up my whole year alone. Every thought, wish, dream, plan, fear and pain I have felt this year revolves around that man. Right now I sturggle to see the beauty in all of this, my heart is broken. This would be perhaps the first time. Someday, when it doesnt hurt to breathe anymore I will remember only the good; the beautiful smile, the roses at random times, his innabilsity to keep a secret, his ambition for all things good, a kiss that takes my breath away, flying kites,feeling more love than I think I will ever have in my whole life. Being 100% myself with him. Breaking my own heart and letting him go. Watching him marry someone else. Attempting to feel happy for his joy, but feeling my heart break all over again. The bitter-sweet moments, when everything, my table, a smell, my very face remind me so much of him. Moving forward.
JP. She is my roomate and I love her so much. She's been the one constant friend in Logan. She is good for a laugh,pure stupidity or the deepest level of understanding and curiosity I can imagine. The poor girl has been stuck in the middle of what feels like a divorce and she has never once complained or picked sides. I wish I were more like her, and since we are clones, its pretty close.
Colorado. 2 of my greatest friends and best memories hail from that state. Ryan and Josh have meant the world to me this year. Not only are they amazing men, but they remind me of my strengths as they have been nearly impossible to find.
My religion. God and I have had our battles this year. I dont take no for answer very well. I am still learning humility and to trust in Him, but I know he is there for me no matter what is going on in my life. I have felt it and I know it. I wont forget that my prophet died this year too. I cried for a good 20 mins even though I know he deserves a break. I love that man. I will forever revere him and admire his legacy.
Really 20 for me has been one big learning experience. At times I have felt like Job, the trials have just come in ceaseless waves but so have the lessons and the blessings. I am better prepared for the future because of the past year of my life. I hope that 21 brings more opprotunity to grow, a chance to heal, the courage to move forward and the peace to forgive.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)