Why I write

So we have a girl coming on Studio 5 next week named Lindsey. I found her blog and on it she talks about why she wanted to be a writer. I thought, man this blog sounds alot like my life. I get up and go to work at 2 jobs that I enjoy at times, but nothing has inspired me more than writing. At this important phase in my life I am struggling to find work that I have a true passion for; work that I would go to work for free for. Though I will never give up writing, I wish I could just get paid to blog in the real world.

Every passion has a spark that starts it, for me, writing began as soon as I was able to write. I remember sitting at Salt Lake Institute, always the last child at the table slowly writing my daily plans into a black and white steno notebook. I was the slowest, I could not spell and many of my letters were backwards. It was frustrating, but I wrote.
In my free time I would write my own stories alone and with my friends. In 2nd grade my friend Kate and I wrote a story about a boy who lived on Free Willey's the killer wales back in a bubble. It was a terribly creative plot for 2 small girls but it was our world and we loved it. Things came to life in stories, things I could not create otherwise.

I owe my writers fire to two teachers I had in my life: Ms. Kenner my 5th grade teacher. She had a write stories often. I liked using the National Geographic magazine pictures and making up the stories behind the images. I wrote one story "Gonna and the Salmon Ceremony" and it was the most ridiculous thing I have ever read, but I loved doing it. Kenner said I had a way with words, a real talent and to never stop writing. She gave me many opprotunities to write and helped improve my vocabulary to be a better writer.
The other teacher was Ms. Alsop my 7th grade english teacher. I wrote things in that class that she said were impressive and that I would one day be a famous writer. I believed her. I still believe her. She taught me about the short story, detail and character development. She moved my from regular english to honors. I felt I could do now what so many said I could not in the past.
I have dreamed of being a writer for over a dozen years now. Is that not amazing? If only to say you had a dream, an ambition, a purpose for so long?
What a beautiful thing, words. So much nothing that when put together just right becomes everything you could ever need or want. Words are it. They are all we have. They advance society, they slow it down, the move what could not otherwise be moved. They heal what is broken and they transcend time. Thats the key. Transcending everything. Writing has the ability to totally capture a person, a soul, a mind, a heart and yet be so outside of them, its not even them at all. Make sense? I doubt it.
It doesnt matter. These words are mine. They can mean somthing to you if you let them. If not, they are still mine. perfectly endlessly flawed.

Hayley's master mix summer 08

I am at work tonight having completed all of my tasks. Usually I blog with an idea in mind, tonight however, I am blank. Here's an idea, TOP SONGS I THINK ARE THE SHIZ SUMMER 08.

1. # 1 by Hello Goodbye.... I like where we are, when we drive in your car
2. The tension and the terror by the straylight run.... the possibilities
3. We werent Crazy by Josh Gracin
4. # 1,3,4 and 10 and RSRB's new album Last Man Standing
5. This Side by Nickel Creek
6. Around the Clock by the Rocket Summer
7. If you didnt love me by Phil Stacey
8. Love Dont Live Here anymore by Lady Antbellum
9. With you By Chris Brown
10 No Air by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown
11. Apple bottom jeans
12. Jump On it.... bom bom bom bom bom.... Jump on it, jump on it!

This is pretty much my mix of the week. Things may change over the summer, but for now, this music is making me pretty dang happy. Most of these songs are not new, thats the amazing thing about music, it has application in your life at so many times. At least that is true for me. I'll add to the official HAYLEYS MASTER MIX as the summer progresses. Any suggestions, let me know!

The NACURH expereince

SO I just got back from my national conference NACURH at OSU in Stillwater Oklahoma. It was my first time in Oklahoma and my last time perhaps at a NACURH Inc. conference. I feel it is a great time to reflect on the past 3 years I have been affiliated with this group.

What a joy it has been to work with, serve and befriend some of the greatest leaders this world will ever know. People do not understand what it is we do at a "housing conference." Yes the Res. Halls united us, but really, NACURH and IACURH are opprotunities to develop leaders like nothing else can.

These leaders are the underdogs it seems. The few who may not win a popularity contest, or a hot or not award, but they are the leaders who lead because they love to serve. Because they have caught the vision of something greater than themselves. I too share that vision.

I was fortunate as a freshmen, to have an advisor who has a vision beyond my own. She opened so many doors, and Tiffaroo, I thank you forever. My 2 years as NCC and one on the board have been my best memories of college and some of my most treasured of my life. I will never forget dressing up like a freak a few times a year, Hey IACURH, Hey What?!, collecting my beloved pins, making some of my best friends and ultimately watching people change. Watching someone catch the vision, to see more in themselves and the world around them.

I would not be the leader I am capable of without my time in the region. I would not relate to people, be as open, curious or compassionate. I would not be as daring or confident, I would not be as happy.

I owe great thanks to Tiff for always having vision for those she leads and pushing me outside my box. Thanks to USU for funding this dream of mine from every conference and for my beloved No Frills 07. The biggest thanks Dr. E Hash, Benjamin, Ry, Face, Diva Dollars and the whole E-board. To everyone who has sat in that boardroom the past 3 years, what a journey and a joy. Thank you.

Drive on IACURH, Drive on!

Reflecting on age 20

So this blog started out as a blog for work but I've decided I am going to keep it up so the few people in the world who care what I am up to can read it. Blogs seem to be the trend for the newly married folks in the world, but why outcast the not- quite married kids as well?

Midnight tonight marks my 21 birthday. A friend of mine commented that birthdays are a great time to reflect on the past. This past year in particular has been one that I will never forget, though at times i will wish to.

This is the first birthday I recall actually feeling the influence of my age. 20 is still cute, with room for error based on naievity and pure stupidity. By 21 however, we are adults, we know what is right and wrong and we have no excuses. With this newfound mantle of adulthood, I am both excited and terrified.

The things I will never forget about age 20:

Kevin Thomas Dawson. That sums up my whole year alone. Every thought, wish, dream, plan, fear and pain I have felt this year revolves around that man. Right now I sturggle to see the beauty in all of this, my heart is broken. This would be perhaps the first time. Someday, when it doesnt hurt to breathe anymore I will remember only the good; the beautiful smile, the roses at random times, his innabilsity to keep a secret, his ambition for all things good, a kiss that takes my breath away, flying kites,feeling more love than I think I will ever have in my whole life. Being 100% myself with him. Breaking my own heart and letting him go. Watching him marry someone else. Attempting to feel happy for his joy, but feeling my heart break all over again. The bitter-sweet moments, when everything, my table, a smell, my very face remind me so much of him. Moving forward.

JP. She is my roomate and I love her so much. She's been the one constant friend in Logan. She is good for a laugh,pure stupidity or the deepest level of understanding and curiosity I can imagine. The poor girl has been stuck in the middle of what feels like a divorce and she has never once complained or picked sides. I wish I were more like her, and since we are clones, its pretty close.

Colorado. 2 of my greatest friends and best memories hail from that state. Ryan and Josh have meant the world to me this year. Not only are they amazing men, but they remind me of my strengths as they have been nearly impossible to find.

My religion. God and I have had our battles this year. I dont take no for answer very well. I am still learning humility and to trust in Him, but I know he is there for me no matter what is going on in my life. I have felt it and I know it. I wont forget that my prophet died this year too. I cried for a good 20 mins even though I know he deserves a break. I love that man. I will forever revere him and admire his legacy.

Really 20 for me has been one big learning experience. At times I have felt like Job, the trials have just come in ceaseless waves but so have the lessons and the blessings. I am better prepared for the future because of the past year of my life. I hope that 21 brings more opprotunity to grow, a chance to heal, the courage to move forward and the peace to forgive.

March Madness, Jensen Style

March is proving to be an interesting time in the life of Hayley. A relaionship rollercoaster to say the least. You think you escapre the drama once you leave highscool.... I thought I had but I was wrong. Same drama, just more years of life expereince making the drama seem even more stupid and thoes involved even more ridiculous.

In honor of my own March Madness, here is the top ten reasons relationsips are bad in March:

1. There is no ambaince to the season, snow is melting, rain is falling, the lawn is mud. Its just ugly.

2. valentines is over, you spent all your money and energy on something amazing and now everyday attempts at romance just dont cut it.

3. Somedays the sun shines and you step outside in your capri's only to realize he is white and you are harry from a winter in pants. so you go back inside and wait until june.

4. The end of the school year is approaching so everyone who failed to date this year is trying to squeeze in one last chance at a relaionship before may, just to say they dated.

5. Professors recognize how hormonal everyone is and decide to drown students in work, essays and tests to help reduce the dating chaos. This fails and so do the students.

6. Everyone who got engaged in december is planning weddings. The rest of us who did not get engaged pretend to be happy for our friends, roommates and neighbors but secretly we hate them.

7. Utah State Men's Basketball has ended by this time, so all the ladies who have been pretending to date Jaycee Carrol and Tai Wesley for the past 3 months, are out of luck.

8. Spring Break hook-ups, while awesome, remain just that, hookups. Some how the chick you dug in Mexico, late at night, at a bar, is not as appealing in Aggie sweats, sober, whining at you to take her to dinner. Its sad, but true.

9. If you are Irish, super, this month is awesome, you will probably get tons of action, but lets face it. Most of us are not Irish and even if you buy a shirt or pin that says you are, you know its a lie. Give up. Your luck had better change, or better yet, your entire genetic make-up.

10. The number 1 reason I never date in March: People are either really good looking with no self-esteem, or really funny and nice but well, sweet spirits. Stop looking for validation people and figure out that you are awesome. This needy crap has got to stop. PLEASE!

Top 10 things I wish I were doing for Spring Break 2008

Being the poor student that I am, I do not get to go on a fun spring break trip this year. Actually I am saving for a sweet trip to Cali this June... so its worth it but still painful. Here's what Id rather be doing.

1. Going to my favorite city on God's great earth, BOSTON, with some friends/ co-workers who really are going

2. Going to Arizona to hang out with my friend Bear. Bear is amazing. I could very well be in love with him. Too bad I botched that one and we dont even speak. The joys of lifes lessons.

3. University of Washington. Why another school? Because I have some amazing friends who live there thats why. And I have never been to Seattle. No Grey's fan can be a true fan without that trip.

4. UCCS- Another school- Colorado Springs is where 2 of my best friends in the whole world are. Everyone knows and loves Ryan and Josh. In fact, I bet YOU know Ryan and Josh. That city is beautiful enough said.

5. Hawaii..... cuz its PaRaDiSe

6. St. George Utah- its close, its cheap and its crazy this time of year... plus its warm. I wouldnt mind the sun for a time.

7. Road Trip to anywhere with Face- I have a friend named Face (of course that is not his real name). Face and I love the time we have together but it is rare. I would love some time with him, blastin some Boondocks and HSM. which leads to numer 8...

8. Anywhere with the whole IACURH E-Board- I love this group of people I serve with on a regional student council. You can do some cool things in college, this is by far my favorite. Anywhere with Dr. E Hash, Ben, Troy HASHIMOTO and his Diva Dollars, perhaps stay at La Quinta.... as long as we dont "motion" and we MoVe... we will be fine!

9. Sea World- I have a thing for wales and that water ride they have there is pure fun for hours. How often to you get to touch an animal that sleeps with only half of its brain at a time? I cant do that. Awesome!!

10. A Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband concert- all hall Utah's most under-appreciated band and my favorite band ever.. RSRB is sick funcadelic bluegrass to make you high... on life. Never get enough of them... NEVER!!

A few things that give me Aggie Pride

Now I am proud as anyone to go to school where I do. It was my father's favorite band the Beach Boys who said it best- "Be True to Your School." Never before has this statement been more true than for the Aggie's. Here are a few things that I am dang proud of:

1. Jaycee Carroll- Now that is one fine athlete. I like to call him Midis because if he touches the ball, its gold. If he's in the game we can all breathe easy knowing our man is going to make some magic happen. There is no better feeling then when Jaycee lets that ball go soaring from way bay and everyone knows its gonna glide but we all still hold our breath and then..... the Spectrum erupts with cheers! I love that famous 3 point gold! I also almost get a little teary when the crowd gets all into the chant of "Jaycee Carroll... clap clap clap clap clap clap." You say it boosts his ego? He earned that ego. Yay for that ego.

2. The school song and the Scotsman- I hear that music play and I cant help but stand with pride, hand on the heart or doing whatever I feel constitutes a salute at that moment.... that last note of "Where the sagebrush GROWS!" is one of the ugliest, off-pitch beauties i have ever heard. Just you wait, spine tingles.

3. Old Main- that building is crazy cool. Not only is it all majestic and Harry Potter-esq up here on the hill, but it has a crazy history. Half the dang building burnt down once. There once was a gym with a swimming pool that we dug up last year no one even knew was still there, the Anthropology Museum was once a chapel so students could have some religion and such. Its kind of awesome.

4. Big Blue and the dude who plays him- the other night at the game they unmasked Big Blue. All my years here I wondered who was cool enough, brave enough and pretty much stupid enough to dress up like a bull all these years and you know what? They unmasked him and i was grateful to that guy Roy. He never once got credit for his stunts or all the time he had to spend. No one knew. well i bet some did, but not most. Props to that guy for sure!